Everything Is Jacked Up
by Toonwalla
Summary: What happened during those 10 years that Jack spent chasing after the Black Pearl? Do you want to find out what really happened in Singapore? Jack Sparrow/OC called Jacque...no it is not a man! sorry yaoi fangirls but SHE is a woman!


Chapter 1: A Very Much Wanted Woman

A great black ship floated in suspended animation on the Caribbean Sea, and there was nothing that the crew of the _Black Pearl_ could do about it. If you were caught in a dead wind the only thing you could do was amuse yourself with anything you could find.

"Why is the rum always gone?!"

For _Captain_ Jack Sparrow that time of fond amusement had ended when the final drop of rum fell from the lip of its bottle. He set the grubby bottle down on the stairs leading up to the helm where the rest of his companions, Will Turner, Elizabeth Swan, Mr Gibbs, Pintel, Ragetti and Barbossa were all sitting as bored and as listless as ever. Jack sighed.

"Well whilst all you boring lot sit here I'm going down to get some more rum" He stood up, probably the most exciting thing to happen yet since everyone was watching him now.

Jack however paid no heed of their curiosity and swaggered down the stairs with his usual twisted bravado and walked his way down to the storage compartment at the very bottom of _his _ship.

_Is it just me or is there fewer rum bottles here then there were before?_

He thought to himself as his fingers danced over the bottles of alcohol trying to decide, although all of them were the same. All except one. The beige colour of a cork in the shallows caught the corner of his eyes.

_Ah that must be a good bottle._

Jack smiled like a giddy school boy as he tugged on the nozzle. It didn't come out. It was stuck.

"Arg! God Dammit" Jack groaned. He tugged and heaved at the bottle with all his might but it only budged a couple of inches out revealing a Scarlett ribbon.

_Huh?_

Jack pushed one of his feet against the alcohol rack.

PLOMP! CRASH!

Jack landed on the floor holding a ¾ full bottle of, not rum but instead a ruby red liquid.

Jack returned to the helm still holding the bottle of wine in his hands with a very confused look on his face.

"Mr Gibbs" he called.

"Ai cap'in" Gibbs responded standing up and walking over to Jack.

"Did my wench leave something behind when she left? – not you." He added to Elizabeth whose mouth opened in disgust. Will's gaze darkened considerably.

"I believe _Scarlett _did say that she'd hidden a gift inside the ship for you the day she was captured." Said Gibbs, taking the bottle from Jack and inspecting the ribbon.

"Scarlett?" Pintel who was just cleaning his wooden eye out asked as he stuffed it back into his socket.

"Who's Scarlett?" Ragetti squinted at the pair of men ogling the piece of shiny cloth.

"Jacqueline Scarlett" Barbossa finally piped in eyeing Jack with interest.

"You mean Jacqueline Scarlett the infamous con-artist?" Elizabeth and Will said simultaneously much to the surprise of everyone.

"...yes..." Jack looked at everyone

"How the hell do you know her?" Barbossa asked squinting at Jack

"It's a long story ... "he looked at the faces staring intently at him "but we've got time" he plopped down and pulled out the cork from the bottle and peered into the contents.

"It was about thirteen years ago when you" he pointed a grubby finger at Barbossa accusingly "kicked me off MY ship! Well slightly before that...'bout a week or so before. Can't remember..."-

* * *

_CRASH!!! THUMP! SMASH!!!_

An empty glass bottle smashed next to Jack's head but his eyes were not focusing on it. Instead they were glued with silent fear as a topless hulking man with bulging rippled muscles grunted and charged in his direction like a bull at a matador.

"Ahh!" Jack yelled rolling just in time out of **Bull man's** way. He scampered up to feet quickly but Bull man was already readying himself to charge once more.

_Maybe I shouldn't have insulted his mother! Shoot! I need a way out of this._

"Ah...Well my good...friend..." He started negotiating but Bullman just picked up a chair and flung it at him. Again Jack was forced to duck and began crawling under tables, just to have himself pulled out from under one by his foot. Bull man dragged him out from under and dangled the helpless coward upside down.

"I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND! SPARROW" he rumbled loudly like a volcano on the brink of eruption.

"Oh...alright...well then I'm sorry I..."Jack stuttered not wanting to get hit...again.

"Save the sorrys for when I mangle your bones you mangy scoundrel!" Bullman raised his fist. Jack flinched, clenching his eyes as he readied himself for a punch...that never came?

Instead he heard glass shatter, a large groan. He opened his eyes only to find the ground becoming closer at an unusually fast speed.

_THUMP._

"...ow..." came his delayed response before he felt himself being dragged by the scruff of his neck.

"Stupid ass, I was about to get about two hundred gold off him and you had to insult his mother." A female voice grumbled above him as was dragged out the door into a shady alleyway. He was shoved roughly onto some crates.

"Aren't women supposed to be gentle nurturing creatures?" Jack said gruffly as he felt cool glass bottle press against the bruise on his left temple.

"Yeah...as well as creatures that are there to serve under men as their tools. Nice try mate but you'll come to find that I, unlike your other wenches, won't give in to such bullshit!"

Jack finally opened his eyes onto the woman he was addressing. She was probably the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on, and he had laid his eyes (and other such actions) on a lot of women. Her blue eyes were deep and calming like the sea, skin pale and lovely blond hair with gentle curls. Most of it was tied up in a neat bun whilst the longer locks cascaded from it like a golden waterfall down to in between her shoulder blades. The only thing that detracted her from all these lovely features was a huge frown and angry eyes looking down upon him.

"So you are the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow..."

"That's me lassy!" Jack managed a mischievous grin.

"Somehow I thought you would be more ...manly... but it turns out I found a pansy instead."

Jack's smile faded quickly. "And you seem to be less feminine then I first thought!"

_BASH!_

"Thanks for the compliment" the woman smugly looked down on the battered pirate who was still eyeing her with great interest. She cracked her knuckles loudly.

"May I please inquire as to who this lovely lady is?" Jack sat up and pulled a brandy bottle from the neighbouring crate.

The woman gave another smug smile and puffed out her chest revealing a generous sized bust to which Jack admired privately. She drew out her sword and faced the point into the ground. "You are looking at Jacqueline Scarlett, Con-Artist Extraordinaire!" She declared proudly as she stabbed into the ground. He could feel power emanating from her as wind whipped through her hair and loud brass music playing in the background.

"I should've known" Jack muttered still eyeing Scarlett's bosom.

He quickly noted that her attire was quite out of the ordinary for a con-artist. Well not that out of the ordinary because she was one of the most successful con-artists in the Atlantic region. Her red dress was slightly ripped and torn at the hem, but he knew as a sailor it had probably come from being on deck all the time. She wore an expensive set of men's black boots, possibly stolen (more likely conned) from a person of the royal navy. The only things that seemed not stolen were her swords, and assortment of daggers and pouches along a leather belt that looked like it had seen far better days than this.

"Anyway, thanks for the rescue Miss Scarlett" He stood up and took off his hat. He gave a drunken bow and began to swagger off past her.

"Hey! You don't run off while I do my Introduction!" She shouted at him and threw a bottle in his direction. It missed by an inch. He just waved at her and kept strutting off back to his ship. "And watch out for your crew. They're a nasty lot, all they wants is blood and money." She shouted at his retreating back.

"That's what all pirates are Lassy!" Jack turned his head around. "I'm just slightly different!" He turned back.

"Bloody women..." Jack muttered as his ship came into sight. "Bootstraps!" He yelled to the watchman standing guard.

William 'Bootstrap Bill' Turner looked at his Captain as Jack made his way to his ship. "Evnin Cap'in, Had a rough night at the tavern?" Bootstrap looked over the drunken mess of a man that stood before him. "Did you get what you were looking for?"

"Yes...I did...however I would like to just retire for the rest of tonight! Before i say anything to the crew." Jack said wandering past Bootstrap and onto the _Black Pearl_.

"I would hurry up and tell them cap'in" Bill warned Jack sternly "The crew have been getting rather edgy lately" but Jack just ignored him and went to his quarters under the helm.

Upon entering he saw Barbossa sitting at the head of the large table his legs propped up and his new pet monkey sitting quietly on his lap.

"Jack.." Barbossa rasped looking up at his captain with a serious look.

"Ah Hector! Still up I see! Why aren't you sleeping yet?" Jack flounced over to a chair at the opposite end of the table.

"Jack..." Barbossa repeated his eyes holding a slight hint of serious aggression "we need to talk!"

* * *

A/N:

**Fuzzy: **Well not what I quite expected to happen. But I think that Barbossa just sounds so dark and mysterious at the end. The "we need to talk" line is really quite an epic.

**Shiny: **Who care about Barbossa? It's Jacque I really like. Thanks for this awesome RP with you Fuzzy.

**Fuzzy: **Me too Shiny! For anyone who is reading we (Teh-3-Rabid-Fangirls) do not own Pirates of the Caribbean. It is owned by Disney. Just like Marvel Comics right now. (ARGGGG! Why Marvel Why?)

**Shiny **: Anyway I will be doing a collaboration with Fuzzy for Everything is Jacked Up and will be featuring as Jacqueline Scarlett. We will try to keep everything true as possible. So please Review!

**Fuzzy: **Yes and there will be (and I absolutely will include) THE LEGENDARY TRIP TO SINGAPORE! That everyone in the original films seem to always be rattling on about!!!! YAYY! SINGAPORE!!


End file.
